Kick-ass quote
“Competence is how good you are when there is something to gain. Character is how good you are when there is nothing to gain.”—Mark Manson
Something I’m thinking about
I was on the train home and mad at myself.
I had just come from a small group college seminar, and I felt uncomfortable.
“Man, that was so awkward. What did I do wrong?”
I was blaming myself. I had failed to achieve a goal I’d apparently set for myself at some point. Which is to never feel awkward.
Yeah… it’s not a great goal. And I didn’t choose it consciously either. But I sure notice whenever I don’t succeed at it.
So, here are the 4 reasons never being awkward is a bad goal:
It’s outside my control.
I don’t always get to choose what emotions come up. Thereby I am putting the success of my goal in the hands of chance. That doesn’t make much sense.
I’d have to be perfect to achieve it.
Never feel awkward? As in ever? Yeah, that’s not possible. It’s good to challenge yourself, but I do want to give myself some chance of succeeding.
It’s putting the attention on something negative.
The more I fixate on the goal, the more I think about awkwardness. Which is certainly not going to help me feel at ease; I can tell you that.
Different people have different opinions.
Different things might make me feel awkward around different people. So, who’s right? Nobody. That’s what you get when you set stupid goals.
…
Which is why I’m working on letting myself be awkward. I am trying to consciously give myself permission to not be perfect.
Challenge
If you recognize yourself in this, give yourself the permission to be awkward too. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
PS—Thanks for telling me
