Helpful message number 1:
There’s a line in Red Rising, a science fiction novel written by Pierce Brown, that goes: “Life is the most effective school ever created.” Which immediately spoke to me when I read it. I literally put the book down to ponder it for a bit. Life being the most effective school ever created… Wow. What a fascinating way to look at things.
And so very different from how I’ve always looked at it. When I think of school, I think of this mandatory thing young people have to go through before they’re given the right to choose their own path in life. School for me also wasn’t something I particularly enjoyed or think fondly of looking back at it.
And even though I wasn’t very fond of the things taught in school or how they were taught, I do like learning. I like finding different ways to look at things. I like growing and becoming a better person. I like trying to become better at life. But I’ve never looked at life in general as a school. And certainly not as the ultimate school.
But doing so takes a lot of the ridiculous seriousness out of life for me. Before, I often looked at life as this impossibly heavy, grave thing. And its weight lay heavy on my shoulders. It took a lot of the lightness and joy out of being, and it made me more heavy-footed.
Thinking about life as a school, however, puts my focus on learning, seeking challenges, and embracing life’s adventures and obstacles. Since they are the fastest way for me to grow.
And who knows, maybe life is but a school.
Helpful message number 2:
Another message that helped relieve some of the pressure I put on myself was from a video called “When You Just Ain’t Got it All Together”. It’s from the Dry Creek Wrangler School YouTube channel, and I can highly recommend you watch it for yourself.
In the video, Dewayne shares some of his thoughts on having things together and expectations with you. Now, he doesn’t do flashy edits or fancy thumbnails; he just lets his message speak for itself. Which took some getting used to for me, as I have grown accustomed to those sorts of things on YouTube. But after I let go of my need to have a new scene in front of me every seven seconds, I really cherished his message.
So, if you want to watch it yourself, here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0-ttGGB7b4.
In the video, he says that he gets a lot of messages from men that say they don’t have it all together and that they’re wondering what’s wrong with them because of that.
To which his simple message is (imagine a deep, very calm voice): “Of course you don’t have it all together. You’re not supposed to have it all together. You’re not expected to have it all together.”
He continues: “Anybody looks at you at twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight years old and says, ‘Hey man, what’s wrong with you? How come you don’t have everything figured out?’… They’re a fool.”
And man, did I need to hear that. Someone assuring me that, yes, I don’t have to have it all figured out and that, yes, that’s okay, was very encouraging.
I mean, I know that being kind to oneself is important. I know I shouldn’t be beating myself up when I’m trying my best, but I guess I don’t always manage. Apparently, somewhere deep down, I did feel like I ought to have it all together. And I felt bad for falling short.
That’s why Dewayne telling me that not only is it normal to feel that way, it’s expected, helped a lot. Now I’m able to tell myself, “Not only do I not have everything figured out, I shouldn’t have. It’s part of life and being young to not know everything, to be confused, and to make mistakes because that’s how I learn.”
Now, I can take my confusion as a sign that I’m doing things right. I can take my struggles as a sign that I am challenging myself, that I am on the right path.
And maybe that’s all any of us can ask for. Who knows?
I certainly don’t.
But I’m excited to learn.
2 thoughts on “Some quick thoughts about living life”
Wow, thanks for sharing this video! I enjoyed it as much as your post.
I hope more of these quick thoughts on life get published in the future!!
Thank you so much Marc! I’m glad you liked it 🙂