Are We Born To Serve?

The above quote was something I heard on the Modern Wisdom podcast. Dewayne Noel says, “A good man is born to serve.”

Which was startling for me to hear. Born to serve? As in: it’s my primary purpose? Wow.

I’d never considered that. I guess since so much of my thoughts revolve around me, I just assumed that my feelings and desires must be of the utmost importance.

But what if they’re not?

First reaction

Well, that would be very unsettling. That would be like thinking everything revolves around the earth only to find out that it doesn’t. That we actually revolve around some other thing. A thing much greater than us.

That’s sort of what it felt like on the personal front. This thing that I’ve always thought was so important (me) might actually not be all that vital.

I might be just a small, small part of something much greater than myself. And maybe my striving should aim at furthering the greater cause instead of trying to please my every need.

That sure is a big piece of humble pie.

Second reaction

But along with that humble pie came a slice of… I don’t know. Something good.

Because if I become less important, so do my troubles and insecurities. After all, if I’m only here to help, does it really matter that much if I feel anxious? No, I can still do things while feeling anxious.

And while that might sound cold, it doesn’t feel that way. Probably because much of the pain I am dealing with is self-inflicted and entirely unnecessary. It’s not really feeling anxious that I struggle with. It’s being mad at myself for feeling anxious that gets me. It’s being disappointing in myself for not feeling motivated. It’s feeling ashamed about feeling insecure.

The “Second Order Emotions,” as Chris Williamson calls them, are what creates a lot of my struggle.

But if it’s not all about me, then the thing that really counts is my actions. So, if I am scared of something, that’s fine. I just have to do it anyway. Which isn’t always easy, but it is a hell of a lot easier than what I have been trying to do so far. Which is both doing difficult things AND not feeling anxious, nervous, or unmotivated about doing them.

It’s like telling me: Hey, it’s alright. Just do the things, and if you feel a certain way while doing them, that doesn’t matter. I won’t judge you on that.

And that takes a lot of the pressure off.

Another thing I want to mention

Jordan Peterson said, “Anxiety is directly linked to self-consciousness.” And: “There is no difference between thinking about yourself and negative emotion.”

Which would also make sense that me thinking less about me makes me less stressed.