My family and I were on holiday last week. We visited a beautiful place high up in the mountains in Austria. I gotta tell you, this place was gorgeous all around. The hotel we stayed in was lovely. The nature around us was astonishing (the picture above is my brother paragliding). And the village was marvelous.
I usually don’t really care about interior design, but the furnishing of the hotel really impressed me. It was lovingly designed and probably one of the nicest places I’ve been to. Here are some pictures, although I don’t feel like they are doing it justice:
Even more breathtaking was the nature around us. The mountains, in particular, were amazing—gigantic structures of stone emitting a silent yet powerful presence. They were primitive, yes, but in a way, they were also so majestic. The way these huge rock formations were intertwined with nature in such a seamless, harmonious way was stunning to witness. Here are some more pictures so you might get a glimpse of what I mean:
One day after visiting the sauna, I stepped out into the peaceful, comforting spa area and from there, stepped out onto the terrace. The view was spectacular. I took a deep breath and felt humbled and grateful to be there. In a lot of ways, this was as good as it gets.
I’m telling you this because, even though it felt great, it also got me thinking. We put so much effort into changing things externally in the hopes of changing things internally too. We pack our bags and travel for hours just to be somewhere else. Even though we end up doing many of the same things we’d do at home. No matter where I am, I’ll still have to eat, breathe, sleep, and do other mundane things like brush my teeth. Yes, I also get to do some things I couldn’t do at home, and those can be fun. But the rest of the appeal, as far as I can tell, is to do the same things, just in a different environment (and perhaps with different people).
Yet, the funny thing is, it works. Being in that beautiful place in the mountains made me feel like something in me was cleansed, like I was cleansed. Not in some big way, but small things started feeling different. The thought of watching useless stuff on YouTube or distracting myself in some other way just inherently didn’t appeal to me as much anymore. In the same way, being productive felt just a little less difficult and a little more natural. Like some friction was removed. It felt like my duty to be the best version of myself I could be, being surrounded by so much excellence and beauty. It drew me in.
Which sounds great. But to me, it also felt scary. I thought, “How malleable am I?” Just because some pretty things are around me, my whole perspective changes. Because this is not a one-way street. I’ll be just as easily influenced in negative ways as I am influenced positively. This made me feel very dependent on my environment. And since my surroundings will always be to a large degree outside of my control, I didn’t like that. I felt a lot of my perceived agency disappear.
My new view of how my environment impacts me
How did I react to that? Pretty defensively. I didn’t want to be so impressionable, so I started thinking about ways to fight it. “Can I become so mentally strong that my environment won’t affect me unless I let it affect me?” But I already knew what the answer was going to be: probably not, not even close. I could feel how deeply ingrained in me this connection to my surroundings was. Being immune to its influence didn’t even seem remotely feasible.
Which was unpleasant to realize. For the longest time, I was under the impression that my environment didn’t impact me much at all. I guess I looked at the effect it had like a little wind on my path of life: sometimes slowing me down a bit, other times pushing me forward, and occasionally blowing me off course a little. But in the end, I never imagined it really changing much. I thought I’d end up where I’d end up, and some wind wasn’t going to change that.
It turns out I was wrong. My surroundings weren’t merely a breeze on my path of life.
It feels more like at every moment I’m standing at a crossroads with many possible paths I could take. And I have to pick one and walk on it. I can still change paths, but I can only walk on one at a time. Those are the conscious choices I can make. But there are also strong winds coming from all over. Because of that, it will be very difficult for me to advance on some paths, as I have strong headwinds on those. On others, the opposite is the case, and the wind helps me move in the direction I want, so much so that it feels almost effortless to get there. Last but not least, there are some paths on which the wind will come from the side, trying to change my direction, trying to get me to walk on a different path.
In my metaphor, the different paths I can choose to walk on are the different choices I could make in any given situation. The effect the wind has on me symbolizes how I’m influenced by my environment. Sometimes the effect is a positive one, other times it makes my life more challenging, and occasionally it influences me to take a different path, perhaps an easier one.
Here is a more concrete example: Let’s say I am trying to decide what I want to spend my afternoon on. I’ve narrowed it down to two options:
I could sit on the couch, eat some food, and watch some shows on TV.
Or, I could finish a project I’ve been avoiding for some time.
In my crossroads analogy, option one would be a downhill path. I wouldn’t face much resistance walking on it. Whereas with option two, I would. I would have to sit down and concentrate for a few hours on something I don’t find particularly exciting. I would be taking an uphill path.
So far, so good. That’s what it would look like if my environment was neutral. There is no wind affecting me. But that is rarely, if ever, the case. Let’s add two possible environments.
Some buddies of mine are coming over, they brought beer and a “fuck it” attitude. They want to blow off some steam after an exam they had. It’s pretty chaotic. Some are throwing a ball around, others are just drinking their beer and a couple of them are doing their taxes (I don’t know why either).
I am in a library full of hardworking students. It’s very quiet. Everyone around me is really focused on their project.
Now, I am going to go out on a limb and say that you have some speculations about which environment matches with which option for spending my afternoon. And I think your speculations would be the same as mine. Watching TV with some buddies while drinking beer is an easy path to walk on for me. Studying in a library full of productive students is also not too hard. The other way around, however, it gets tricky. Watching shows on my phone while everyone around me is being productive will make me feel like an imposter for being there. Likewise, trying to finish my project while people around me are throwing a ball around and drinking would be quite challenging.
This is because the winds symbolizing the effect my environment has on me can be very strong. If, with my buddies around me drinking beer, I decide to walk the path of my project, I can expect some very strong headwind. Making progress under those circumstances is going to require a lot of determination and willpower.
Because the effect my environment can have on me is very strong. The winds can be very powerful at times, and dependent on the direction of their force, they work to my advantage, or they push me back. Drinking buddies will give me lots of tailwinds for relaxing, but lots of headwinds for studying. If I want to make any significant progress on my project under those circumstances, I will have to bring lots of determination and willpower.
That’s the insight I gained from visiting that pretty village in Austria. I no longer thought of my environment as some little breeze. I began to see it more and more as an influential force to be reckoned with. And that was not a comfortable realization for me to have. Nope, quite uncomfortable, actually. I had to admit to myself how much more easily I was influenced than I thought. After thinking about ways to fight it and then facing the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to, I found a different way of looking at it.
A different perspective to take
Yes, I am not as sovereign an individual as I thought. Yes, a lot of things influence me in a lot of ways, even though I don’t want them to. And yes, that is not fun to realize.
But.
Here are the two things that were very helpful for me to realize:
Number one: It isn’t within my power to change that (as far as I can tell).
Number two: I now know more. I have gained more insight into my inner workings. And with knowledge comes power.
The reason it hurt was because it seemed like things had changed. I was living in a world where my environment couldn’t really impact me. Now I’ve been put in a world where it impacts me a lot. That’s not a fun transition.
But the thing is, there was no transition. The world never changed. I’ve always been influenced by my environment. The only thing that did change was that I became aware of it. In reality, I haven’t lost control. I’ve gained it. Because now I have the ability to actually do something about the impact my environment has on me.
Now I can work on noticing when my surroundings are affecting me and then taking deliberate steps to change that effect to my benefit. I can start eliminating aspects that are making almost everything I want to do seem more difficult. Instead, I can make some impactful changes that will make it feel like I have the wind in my back with everything I do.
Also, I can recognize that I’ll never fully control my environment. I’m not always going to be able to avoid it impacting me in a negative way. But again, with knowledge comes power. Knowing that sometimes I’ll have to make do with an unfortunate environment, I can learn to accept that. I can learn not to fight it and thereby free up time and energy for more productive things. Like identifying the few ways in which I can take ownership of my environment. And then going and leveraging the fuck out of those.
Summary
- The environment has a big effect on me, a lot more than I thought.
- This effect can be positive or negative.
- I’ll never be immune to its effect. But I can use my environment to my advantage by making it work for me instead of against me as much as possible.
Practical steps that helped me
So, how can I make my environment work for me as much as possible? If a bad environment is like a strong headwind—making significant progress very difficult—how can I create a positive environment? One that acts as a tailwind, making everything seem easier and more natural?
Well, when I first started out, my surroundings were messy and full of distractions. Step by step, I started making changes. And with time, it got better. What helped me the most when I was starting out were probably these two things:
Getting rid of everything that didn’t really add value to my life (which was a lot).
Organizing the rest as neatly and orderly as I could.
So, if I were to do it again, that’s where I’d start. Once my environment was somewhat organized and decluttered, I found these next three steps to be the most beneficial:
Keeping things clean and tidy.
Making sure things stay clean and tidy helps me develop my willpower and reinforces my good habits. As James Clear says, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” And by keeping things neat, I put in a lot of votes for me being someone who is disciplined and conscientious.
In addition to that, being surrounded by testimonials of my good decisions, rather than being surrounded by chaos, helps me think more clearly and feel more at peace.
Getting rid of things that drain my time.
I found that things that consume my time or attention without me wanting them to are dangerous. They are probably what holds me back the most from fulfilling my potential.
If I let them, video games, Netflix, or YouTube will take up huge chunks of my time. And it’s wasted time too. Because I don’t really learn much from it, and afterward my mood is always worse and less productive.
That’s why getting rid of all the games on my phone, deleting YouTube and Netflix, and then not letting me find other ways to distract myself is one of the things that has helped me the most.
Making it easy to stick to my good habits.
Examples of this would be:
Keeping the book I want to read right next to my bed.
Only buying the things I want to be eating so I don’t have to resist the temptation of things that are more appealing.
Keeping my workout clothes ready to go.
Those are the things that have proven to be the most effective for me. Maybe they can help you as well. Either way, I’m rooting for you.
